Just Say It
by Sairyn Arishi Ringtongue
Summary: Another "can Tai save Matt in time?" deal. But Tai is the only suspect. I'm still alive to those who did manage to read this story and like it...very doubtful that anyone does...Anyhow, if four more people write and say they like this, the I'll write more
1. Wierd sensations

9:07 am April 12, 2008 Arishi

Summary

So how are you?

Good, good.

Me? I'm great, thanks.

Yea, yea...hey.

Can I tell you something?

I love you.

These were the words Tai always imagined saying, he just never got the courage to. He didn't know how Matt would react to his best friend proclaiming his love for him. So he never did it...until it was too late.

Matt Ishida was a famous rockstar all over the world, and this made him a target. But no one would suspect that it was Tai...Tai behind the stage, Tai behind the shower curtain, Tai beneath the kitchen counter, it was Tai. Tai would be the one who had to decide the fate of his love...would he spend all of eternity in death with him? Or would he never have him in life?

Descisions haunted his every waking moment, Tai was about to break. Will he jump out and say "I love you?" Or would he stab Matt in the back with the butcher knife?

It dawned on Tai that he loved Matt that very first day...Three years after becoming his friend...but 5 years later, how would he feel? Tai turned away from those thoughts and to his best friend on the other side of the ball. He was coming towards him fast swerving like he was avoiding other players, but it was just him and Tai on that field that day. The sun beat down on them and made Matt's golden blonde hair shine. His blue eyes shone with the effort it took to dribble a soccer ball down the field...okay, not hard work, but it's Matt. Tai watched Matt's slender figure running and felt a familiar sensation blooming in his chest. Shaking his head, he focused on the ball now 10 feet in front of him.

Whoosh! The ball flew past his outreached arms and into the top corner of the goal net. A victorious cry came from the blonde and he jumped up and down.

Tai grinned ruefully. Lately Matt had been scoring goals when normally it was Tai that kicked Matt's butt.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rub it in." Tai muttered under his breath.

Matt just laughed and grinned. "Tai! What's going on? You're slacking!" Matt laughed some more and bent over, hands on his knees, and panted.

"Shut it." Tai grumble good-natrually, but he grinned anyways.

Matt slung an arm around his best friend. "How about some energy-restoring food?"

"Food?" Tai immediately perked up and ran towards the road, but then he stopped. "Um...Matt?"

"Yes?"

"Which way's the house?"

Matt laughed and walked the opposite direction. "Come on, Tai."

Tai felt a thrill at hearing his name from Matt and ignored it, too. He caught up with Matt, the ball under his arm.

They walked to Matt's house, a few blocks away. Once in the door, Tai ran to the kitchen, simaltaneously tripping over the ball he just dropped. Landing on his face, he heard more laughter. He pushed himself off the floor. Matt passed him on the way to the kitchen and Tai tore his eyes from his back. He could not look...he didn't like his friend that way...he wasn't gay, he told himself over and over as he watched Matt move around the kitchen preparing sandwiches. Knowing that Tai ate a lot, Matt made several and set them on a plate and took them to the living room. He set them on the little table in front on the tv and procedded to watch commercials, unaware that Tai watched him.

Tai sat down as far as possible from Matt, and stuff a sandwich in his mouth. Jelly dripped out on his shirt. He looked down, disgusted, but he licked it up anyways. He looked up to find Matt watching him, grossed out. "Ew, Tai, do you ever eat normal?"

A smile spread across Tai's face. "Nope."

"Ew."

"You've said that already."

"Really? Oh well...ew."

Deliberately, Tai dropped more on his shirt and won a not very hard earned look of disgust from his friend.

Grinning, he turned to the tv.


	2. Revenge Gone Wrong

12:35 pm

Arishi

Alone, and at home, Tai wondered around for hours, seemingly trying to find some activity to spark his interest. But as of yet, he had no such luck. Sitting on the couch, eyes finally glue to the t.v., Tai had givien up. The phone rang to his right.

"Kari, phone!" He yelled absently.

A thump cames from the stairs. "Get it yourself!" She yelled back.

It rang some more.

Kari came down the stairs, huffing. "Fine, I'll get it." She picked up the phone. "Hello? Yea...Tai?" She tried to get his attention. No luck. "Hold on , Matt." Kari shoved the phone up against Tai's ear, startling him from his oh-so-fasinating commercial.

He jumped, knocking the phone out of his sister's hand. "Wha-"

"It's Matt, you doorknob."Tai picked up the phone, and said hello before it actually clicked that he was talking to Matt.

"Hey, Tai. Carnival's in town."

"Carnival? Oh, really?! Let's go!"

"I was just going to ask you that." Matt's voice sounded amused.

"Well, then, let's go!" To Matt, he sounded like an over-eager puppy. He would never know what actually went on through his mind. What really went though Tai's mind was that he would have a chance to hang out with his best friend and maybe, just maybe, he might...NO! he couldn't think that way. He would drive himself mad. Tai couldn't like Matt like that. Not ever.

...

Tai found himself eating a delicious elephant ear drowned in chocolate and strawberries, Walking past rows of merchandise, looking for a suitable ride to barf on. Possibly a high vortex spinner thing...no, the zipper! Matt stood beside him, watching the ear fest Tai was having. This meant large chunks being swallowed whole. Not exactly healthy in the least.

"Look!" Matt's attention was drawn away by a girlish cry of surprise. A large mob of girls headed to a large blue tent draped in swirling purple banners. A sign hung on the front just above the doorway. One after the other, the girls walked in and out. Matt was vaguely interested. What did that sign read? Before he knew it, he was dragged along by Tai towards an exhilerating roller coaster ride. He nervously strapped himself in. Here we go...

Tai on the other hand was ecstatic. He bounced in his seat and when the ride gave a lurch, he whooped.

Matt hated it. A whole quarter hour, wasted by loops and swoops...and of course...Tai's barf. When they got off, it wasn't Tai walking shakylegged, it was Matt. Tai observed Matt with amusement.

"You're going to pay for this." Matt said.

"Yeah, right. How could you ever get revenge?" Tai scorned jokingly.

"By making you experience the worst thing here." Matt was smiling evily. From the ride, he saw what the sigh had said. _FORTUNES._

"Yeah? And what's that?" Tai half punched Matt.

Matt pointed to the tent surrounded by girls.

Tai's eyes went wide. "No...not now, not ever." He said, trying to sound firm. He didn't believe in all that, it was more like a waste of time. Also, he didn't want to be seen going into something _girls_ obsessed over.

"Go now." Matt's voice was pure menace.

Tai swalllowed and looked on at the tent with dread. Matt pushed him towards it. "Get in there." He gave Tai a solid shove and Tai went flying. Sprawled in the middle of the tent, Tai looked up to see that it was entirely dark and dismal, the only source of light coming from an orb on what looked to be a table. Eyes glowed through the light. "Taichi Yagami. Welcome." The voice was raspy from talking all day.

Tai shuddered and drew himself up. "Hello." He said quietly.

"I don't need to gaze into the chrystal to know your future. I've been waiting for you."

"Y-you have?"

"Yes. You will love and kill the one who knows you best." That was all the voice said, yet it terrified Tai, who would've thought any fortune just a pail of slops. But this one was different.

Some force picked him up and threw him out of the tent so when he next opened his eyes, he was looking up at Matt's smiling face. "Haha." He said.

"What the hell just happened?" Tai almost yelled, shaking.

"Well, you just walked out and laid down right here." Matt answered. "What happened?"

"N-nothing." Tai sat up, hand on his head. He had a splitting headache. Yet he didn't know that this was just the beginning. He looked up into Matt's worried eyes "You okay?"

How could Matt be worried about him? He was the one who made me go in their, the bastard, Tai thought. Suddenly he was filled with this rage so powerful. He aggresively jumped at Matt's throat, locking his hands around it, growling. It took all of two seconds for him to snap back. What the hell? He pulled back sharply. Matt stood up quickly and backed away, his own hand at his throat. "Tai?"

"Sorry...I-I don't know what came over me. I-I hate those things." He tried to pass it off as pretend anger.

"Yeah, sure, whatever." Matt's eyes were wide and fearful, a light blue they should never be. He backed away into the crowd and dissapeared.

"Wait! Matt!" Tai called, extremely afraid. He just attacked his best friend!! Where had those feelings come from?

But, it was just the beginning...


	3. Knives

**3:47 pm**

It seems like it has been a lifetime, but in reality, it has only been a week and a half since Tai's relapse. He was avoided by Matt and the few people who saw what happened at the carnival had spread the word around. Taichi Yamagi had attacked his best friend. A friend that had been with him for years, they were almost inseperable...until now. Tai had gone over that moment with a fierce determination to figure out what had happened. And each night, he woke with a sickening feeling in his gut that left waves of nausea all through him. Why had he done what he did?

Walking down the hall, head bowed, Tai passed through the whispering crowds, past all the faces staring at him, past all the hands pointing at him. He was talked about as if he was a murderer. A crazy mass murderer out to get them all. Stories filled the air, relentlessly tearing through all his thoughts til he might explode like they said he would. But then, he saw an angel.

Matt had spent a week and a half away from Tai, hoping that this time would give him a chance to cool down. He didn't want to think too much on what had happened. But he kept seeing Tai's face, twisted with anger for a breif moment. Matt was terrified. Time at school was much, much worse. He had never liked school, but Tai usually made the time better. But now there were rumors going around the school that Tai was a murderer intent on killing them all. What a load of hogwash. But he still couldn't help to think that Tai might have a bit of evil in him. He didn't mean for the trip to the fortune tent to be so bad. He knew Tai hated that kind of stuff, but he couldn't resist. Finally, he felt so bad about the whole thing that he went to find his best friend. He almost walked straight into him.

"Matt?" Tai asked.

"Tai...I'm..."

"Sorry."

"Sorry." They said it at the same time.

Matt held up his hand, "No. I'm sorry. It was my fault in the first place. I shouldn't have made you go to the fortune teller."

Tai was silent.

Matt went on, "You didn't attack me and you're not a mass murderer. I didn't tell anybody what really happened, just so you know.

Tai finally spoke, "It's all my fault. I really shouldn't have attacked you. I don't know what came over me." He groped for words, to say what had really plagued him. He couldn't discribe the undiscribable anger that had come over him. The black memory washed over him still, making nausea course through him.

"You didn't attack me!" Matt exclaimed, grabbing Tai by the shoulders and shaking him. He drew the attention of all the students around them. "You didn't!!"

Tai just stared miserably at Matt.

Matt sighed, exasperated. "Whatever, man. Let's get to class." Tai was surprised to be pulled along by Matt. He was forgiven!? His major act of violence was forgotten just like that? No, it wouldn't be gone, not ever. Just pushed away. Matt dragged Tai into their next class: social studies. The one class they had together besides gym, and the one in which they could joke around with each other because their teacher never cared. Matt dumped Tai into a chair and sat down himself. He smiled at Tai, hoping they could move past the unforgettable incident. Tai finally grinned back and everything fell into place.

The rumors still went on throughout the month, but as long as Matt and Tai were together, they slowed down to where they were only a memory wisp.Tai still had nightmares, but they were instantly forgotten as he saw Matt each day, and his feelings still grew, unwanted though.

A few months later, they found themselves at Tai's house, doing the usual activities:videogames, eating, and horseing around they way they always did before the incident. No one was there besides them, and no one would be anytime soon.

"I'll kick your butt all night!" Tai yelled, furiously moving his body to match his character's.

Matt was the quiet cunning one, unmoving and sly. He pulled off a couple f quick jabs and knocked out Tai's character with his own "Victory!!" He finally yelled, grinning his head off. Tai was a sore loser. "Oh, whatever! You cheated!"

"Crankypants." Matt got up to move to the kitchen, a scowling Tai in his wake. Pulling down bowls, Matt quickly and effieciently made ramen for the both of them.

Tai stood next to the counter, leaning on it. For some reason, he couldn't let go of the loss. He scowled some more. His back brushed the knife holder behind him. As Matt moved back into the game room with the food, a horrible thought popped into Tai's mind without warning. He found himself holding a large gleaming knife and walking behing Matt before he blinked, his mind coming out of his haze of bad thoughts. He was staring at Matt's back, knife reflecting the kitchen light into his eyes, turning his gaze. For a moment, he stopped and looked at the knife, fighting for control of his body. The hatred he was feeling slowly slipped away, leaving behind a cold guilt that washed over him fiercely. What the hell?! He dropped the knife with a jolt, staring at it with horror. Luckily, Matt was far enough away not to hear the lod clatter of the knife. It's blade gleamed wickedly up at Tai, sharp. For a moment it showed Tai's reflection as a dark and twisted monster that left a heavy weight of fear in Tai's stomach, but the image disappeared, showing a frightened boy with brown unruly hair. There was no sight of the monster. Tai swallowed and bent to pick up the knife to return it to the holder when Matt walked back in, a question in his eyes. He glanced down to see the knife, and raised his eyebrows.

Tai nervously laughed and tried to make a joke. "You're like a magnet." His stillscared brown eyes lokked hopefully into Matt's confused blue ones.

"A hot magnet?" Matt asked, a slow wariness creeping into his eyes, along with a hint of humor. He still didn't forget the time at the carnival, but most of him was firm in the fact that Tai was his friend and wouldn't do anything to hurt him...right?

Eager to convince Matt that he wasn't doing anything suspicious, Tai picked up the knife and returned it to it's place. Without thinking of what he was saying, Tai opened his fat mouth. "Very hot." His eyes opened wide with the realization of what he just said.

A slow smile spread across Matt's face. He walked towards Tai slowly. "Really now...And why is that?"

Tai swallowed hard. He stammered. "Well...uh...y-you see...uh..." No way was he about to make his friend think he like him...Matt would hate him and he couldn't bear that. But Matt was walking towards him now, not running away. What was going on? "That's not what I meant..."

"Sure it was." Matt loomed closer and closer till he was only half a foot away. "You think I'm extremely hot and you know it."

"No...I-" Tai was cut off from explaining as cool lips pressed against his. His eyes closed on their own as he fell towards bliss. Matt's hand were on his hips pulling him away from the counter and closer to his body. The knife was forgotten. Tai's own hands crept up Matt's back until one twined in his hair slanting Matt's head and the other was around Matt's shoulders. Matt let out a little moan from the back of his throat as the kiss turned deeper. Their tongues twined around each other, a dance of sensuality.

They pulled away, gasping for air. They were speechless. Tai had always known he liked Matt, but to be liked in return? What was going to happen next?

((I luff it! Keep it up! And if you get a computer, you could become as good as me! Probable better! Don't stop believing in yourself, cause I won't stop believing in you! Luff, Me!))


	4. Hospitals

9:32 am

**I have a little surprise for my readers, since you all obviously love me(me being sarcastic), I will tell you how I plan my chapters...Aizlynn said I should put it up and since she's my beta, what she says, goes...hehe..she's very vicious...by the way...she's coming out with this really good one-shot called Lightning...READ IT!!(beware of towel movements)(btw Aizlynn is mean...rin from her! Her mistake, she can't write in cursive...hehehehe)**

Yet another month went by, Tai and Matt's relationship grew, and Tai didn't have those thoughts any more. We find them in the park, next to the bubbling river and the trees sway in the gentle breeze. Sitting on the park bench, holding hands, Tai and Matt watched the blue river flow past them, trying to ignore the whistles and occasional shouts of "faggot" and "queerasses."(...queers...what did you say...I said tears, you know for the love you have..(sorry, had to throw that in, from that movie you kno...oh well...on with the story!!))((Just so you all know, that movie quote was I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry. Beta Aizlynn, out))

"Well, this is great, Tai...I love being here with you.."

"Even though there's the homophobes all around..."

"No, this is okay." Matt forced a smile. He wasn't worried at all about the calls, just that Tai might lose it... like he did a month ago... It hasn't happened since then, but one could never be too cautious.

Tai, on the other hand, was annoyed by the calls and by the fact that Matt didn't seem to mind when it was obvious that it was tearing him up inside. Tai tried so hard to make up for it. But it seemed like it wasn't enough. "Matt...it isn't right for them to be doing this. Not at all. I'm going to talk to them." He started to get up, but Matt just pulled him back down.

"No, Tai...There's no need to. They just don't believe that it's natural for two guys to be in love."

Tai looked down at him in annoyance. "Yeah? Well, it's about time they do." He started to get up again, but Matt stopped him again.

"No, don't worry about it...stay here with me. This is supposed to be our time together, not your time with them." Matt pulled him into a rough kiss in which Tai immediately forgot all about the calls. But deep inside he hid a small bit of anger and it festered and rotted. But it was forgotten the moment their lips pressed together, tongues intwined. Matt's hand curled around Tai's neck and pulled him closer.

They stood and started walking.

"So why did you kiss me that day?" Tai had obsessed about that day for a while now and no matter how he thought about it, nothing made sense.

"I liked you a lot and you looked so skittish. That day at the carnival...I went into that tent and...the lady there told me...that I would find a love soon. And, well...it is you." Matt didn't reveal what else he had heard from the mysterious lady. His mind wandered back to that day. He wandered into the tent an hour after Tai had left, seeking some answers to Tai's behavior. The woman waved her hand to the chair across that purple-covered table. "Sit, young man." Her voice was a deep womanish voice, but he looked closer and saw that it was not in fact a woman, but a man with crappy makeup. Lovely.

"How may I help you, Yamato Ishida?" The voice asked.

"Ho-how do you know my name?" Matt stammered. He half stood.

The man-woman waved...its...hand dismissively. "The last man in here told me all about you, I know everything. I knew everything."

"T-Tai told you about me? What about when he tried to strangle me?! Did he tell you that too?"

"Calm yourself, Ishida. He never told me his intentions when he went out. But we had...words." He smiled eerily.

"What do you mean?"

"He does not believe in the truth of the future. It is what we make it, but he did not believe we could predict what can happen if a person continues doing what they will do. An intervention can change that."

"Okay, but tell me why he attacked me!" Matt didn't care about hearing the future right at this point. Tai-his best friend-tried to kill him. He wanted present time answers.

"He is possesed by rage that he cannot control. It is up to you to prevent this snake of ugly black rage from rearing its hideous head and striking. The most likely target is also you. He cares for you, you know." He winked at Matt. Gross, in Matt's opinion. ((The man winking, of course. Not Tai liking him.))

"He cares for me? What do you mean?" Matt asked, confused. If Tai 'cared' for him, why attack him? And how did he care for him? As a friend or...more?

"You'll see...in time...watch his movements and his behavior. See what he will try and what he will keep himself from doing. And always watch your back, but remember to love." The words, unexpected as all hell, startled Matt from his reverie. What?!

"Now go. There are other marks to please. And...if you ever need my services again..." Wink. "you know where to find me."

"Um yeah." Matt stood up slowly and stumbled out of the tent. He had walked around in a daze for hours after that, oblivious to the merryment around him.

The guys came to the busiest intersection in town and cars whizzed by as they waited for a chance to cross the street. Tai thought back to how uncaring Matt was about the insults in the park. What the hell was wrong with him? Why didn't he get bothered by them? It didn't make sense to Tai at all, which fed his tiny spot of rage that had been hidden away. It grew and consumed him. What was wrong with Matt? Did he...no...He couldn't have lied about his feelings. But that would explain it. Tai's line of thought was extremely irrational and out of control. His hands started clenching and unclencing, his eyes darted wildly around, watching the cars. Matt was still a few steps behind him. "Let's play extreme frogger, Matt." He said, a grin on his face to cover his dark thoughts.

Matt shrugged and stepped closer to the curb and whizzing cars, watching for a chance to run across. Tai bidded his time and at the oppertune moment started running across, Matt at his heels. Discreetly, he stuck out a foot to the side briefly, but it was enough to trip Matt up while he ran out of the way of the oncoming car.

A screech and a crash stopped Tai in his tracks. Blinking, he fought out of the red and black haze his mind was in. What? He turned slowly around.

The last thing Matt saw was Tai turning around before he blacked out. He didn't even feel the pain. But his last thought was "Tai...I should've seen it coming...but I still ...love you." Then he lost everything.

**Ok here it is...some amusement for all y'all. ((Just so you know, this is how she plans her chapters. And this note is from Aizlynn.))**

_**Chapter 1: Soccer **_

_**Chapter 2: The Fortune Teller**_

_**Chapter 3: Silence**_

_**Chapter 4: hospitals are scary**_

_**Ch1: soccer, vidgms..the usual...random thoughts of tai and his love**_

_**Ch2: tai goes to a carnival with matt and sees a fortune tealler who has grim news**_

_**Ch3: tai debates...hides with butcher knife...then with open arms**_

_**Ch4(or five or both...i dont kno): tai "trips" matt into oncomin traffic...hospitals...smell...ew...white light...turn left!!**_


	5. I didn't

**I'm sorry for the slow update. I've been busy lately and haven't got around to writing. I'll try to write Ch. 6 soon.**

8:08 am

Tai had never liked the hospital. Now, he liked it even less. He walked down the long corridor, feet making the only noise he heard even though the regular sounds of a hospital were heard through the ears of the other human beings that Tai wasn't aware of. He only saw himself walking down the white hallway, no one else was around. The walls were off-white, plain, a color and texture Tai hated, but he could not get away from them. He started running, hard and fast. He turned a corner. Where was he now. Three hallways to choose from. He chose at random and ran down the middle one. Maybe it'll lead out of here. Where's the exit sign? Where to go...how do I get out of here? These thoughts swarmed in his head, but went away as soon as he heard a voice.

_You will love and kill the one who knows you best. _The fortune teller's voice? Who did it mean? Tai looked around frantically, fighting the rising panic. He forced it down and tried to think rationally.

A memory bloomed in his mind. He felt the undesirable rage well up in him again as he watched the other Tai get thrown from the tent. He watched as the other Tai stood and lept at Matt. He saw the look of hatred on his own face. The edges blurred and another memory bloomed, this one of Tai facing Matt's back with...a knife? Tai didn't...but he did. He did have that knife. The other Tai dropped it, seeming surprised. The first Tai dropped to his knees, eyes locked onto the swirling mass of memories. Finally, it settled once more. Tai and Matt rushed into oncoming traffic. Tai had tripped Matt. Then the crash. Real Tai saw it all. He stood, unable to bear it all. He couldn't have done those things. No. He loved Matt. So who did it? Someone else. Someone who wasn't him, yet was. Tai was running again.

He stopped at an intersection in the hallways, looked down both ways. An exit sign hung over both of them. One led to the bad part of him, the other to the good. Both called to him. Which one to take?

He woke with a shudder, icy tendrils of the night tracing down his spine. He forgot where he was, but then his eyes landed on the figure in front of him. _Matt. _

"Matt?" Tai's voice came out hoarse. He cleared it then tried again. "Matt..." Matt didn't moved He was laying on a bed in a hospital, machines and tubes hooked onto him. Tai looked around wildly. Where am I? He thought.

Just then a nurse came in. "Mr. Yamagi, please wait outside while I check i-" She broke off as Tai grabbed ahold of her shoulders and shook.

"What's going on?! What's wrong with Matt?!" Tai's eyes bore into hers.

"Mr. Yamagi, I'm going to have to ask you to leave." The nurse was firm. Tai finally let go of her. "I'm sorry." He shoved a hand through his unruly hair. "What's going on?" He sat in the chair he was in before and sighed raggedly.

The nurse looked down at him, pity in every line of her face. "Your friend...was in a car crash. You are in shock still. Just calm down and breathe." She bustled around Matt's seemingly lifeless form.

Tai looked down at his clasped hands. He had caused it all. He tripped Matt. "I did it.." He whispered. The nurse looked up. "What was that, hun?"

Tai shook his head. "No...I couldn't have...I love him."

The nurse bustled around the bed and came towards him, liftling a hand to check his temperature, but Tai pulled away. "I'm fine." He snapped. The nurse looked at him reproachfully.

Tai stood up and paced in the small space between the wall, the bed, and the nurse.He paced and thought. But it got too much to bear so he left the room and went into the hallway. It was exactly like his dream, only he heard the people talking and moving around. He paused and turned away from the halls where he went in the dream and towards the front entrance. He had to get out of there. The walls were closing in on him. He walked to the nearest bus stop, five blocks away. He climbed on it. Walking towards the back he recognized a few of his friends, but did not stop to talk to them, He sat down in one of the seats and stared out the window. He had to get away. He had caused the wreck, it was all his fault.

"Tai."

He ignored the voice, thinking it was one of the demons come to get him and take him to hell.

"Tai." The voice was louder.

He reluctantly turned towards the voice. It was T.K. Oh, no. He couldn't deal with Matt's little brother. Not now. He was losing control. He didn't want to break down in front of T.K.

He might just break...


End file.
